Feb 17 2016

San Francisco Writers Conference: What to Expect

Posted by Travels & Experiences, Writing 4 Comments
San Francisco Writers Conference: What to Expect

For two weekends in a row, I have not slept in my own bed. This is unusual for a homebody like me — who has handpicked my perfect pillow-top mattress and appreciates when all my stuff is in one ultra-organized location — but for the first half of February, I’ve been a traveling fool. We took our first-ever trip to Disneyland. And for the past four days, I was an attendee at the 2016 San Francisco Writers Conference.

I’d been wanting to go to a writing conference for years, but my teaching schedule got in the way, and then I got pregnant — twice — and then, and then, and then.

AND THEN, we moved to California, and even though I have a six-month-old, I told myself, No excuses. It’s serendipity. So I signed up. My mom flew in from Michigan to stay with V, and Baby B came along with me. Before I went, I tried to do as much research as I could about what to expect; but to my surprise, there were very few thorough accounts of conferences past. I found a couple “What to Bring” lists, and one or two ultra-short blog posts from years ago, but nothing with the kind of specificity I wanted.

So, for any future attendees (and anyone else who might be curious about this kind of thing), I’m happy to share my experience. Continue reading →

Jan 19 2016

The Beauty of Being Lost

Posted by Musings & Misc. 13 Comments
The Beauty of Being Lost

This morning there were errands.

Millions and millions of tiny to-dos, buzzing around my head like gnats. Get the dog washed. Pick up diapers. Go to the post office. Stop at the bank. And the baby was with me and he was starting to fuss in the backseat and I knew he would need to eat in the next ten minutes, which reminded me: this nursing mama still hadn’t had breakfast. I was famished. I pulled over to Google Map a McDonald’s.

And I thought, This is my life now, I guess. Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself, and it is so discouraging. One year ago, in this precise week of January, I was wearing a dress (and boots, of course, because Michigan) and preparing midterms for my students. I was surrounded by dozens of wonderful colleagues and hundreds of hilarious kids, and I had a bell-to-bell job to do.

This morning, I was in leggings and a spit-up-encrusted nursing tank, ticking mundane tasks from a checklist, totally alone in the world car save for my hungry baby behind me. This is my life now. Where was I? Not quite a writer. Definitely not a teacher. For the ninety-seventh time since we moved to California, I felt lost. Continue reading →

Jan 11 2016

Places I Do Not Belong

Posted by Musings & Misc. 3 Comments
Places I Do Not Belong

We’ve been back in California for a week now, and while I enjoyed our Michigan visit immensely, I returned with the vague feeling that I don’t quite belong anywhere anymore.

Don’t get me wrong: in a lot of ways, it was the most relaxed I’ve been in months. It was incredibly fulfilling to be with our family and friends again, and SUCH A RELIEF to know that help was nearby if we needed to call upon our village. I was able to just zip away to brunch with the girls. I was able to see V and B fall in love with their grandparents again. I was able to have an actual dinner with my husband. There were way more sets of hands to change diapers, give hugs, and mold Play-Doh. My daughter’s tantrums (a very recent and totally unwelcome occurrence in our household) vanished after just a few Michigan days. She was a better person when there were more people around to love her. We were all better people, I think. Continue reading →

Dec 27 2015

One More Sunday

Posted by Family 12 Comments
One More Sunday

“Did I ever tell you the one about the skeleton key?” he asked, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands.

“Yes, Papa,” I said.

If Grandma was the giving, earnest matriarch of the family, Papa was the storyteller. His job as a private investigator amassed him many a tale, starring everything from cheating spouses to ghosts. He cheerfully, heartily embellished until the line was blurred: in true Big Fish style, we sometimes wondered which of his fantastical anecdotes was rooted in reality.
Continue reading →

Oct 22 2015

Getting Published on Scary Mommy Feels a Little Like Christmas

Posted by Writing 4 Comments
Getting Published on Scary Mommy Feels a Little Like Christmas

Remember that giddy anticipation you had when you were four years old on Christmas Eve? And every few minutes you’d run to the window to search for Santa’s sleigh and listen for bells? And then when your parents finally made you go to bed, you squeezed your eyes shut REALLY REALLY tight and willed yourself to sleep, but it just Would. Not. Happen?

Well, maybe it was just me. And it was me again this past Monday night. I was up for hours, and it wasn’t because of sweet Baby B — I was waiting (not AT ALL patiently) to see my first published piece on Scary Mommy.

My jitters were a blend of unbridled excitement and an almost paralyzing trepidation. This site has only been live for a few months, and in that relatively short period of time, I’ve transitioned from a completely anonymous writer who was kind of terrified to share my words to a NOT anonymous writer who is still kind of terrified to share my words. For lots of reasons, the terror is almost worse now that my name and face are attached to things.

So why, then, did I try to get published on Scary Mommy? I guess it’s because, for lots of other reasons, I’m trying to push myself anyway. Continue reading →