Aug 25 2016

Well, That Escalated Quickly: Behind the Scenes of a Perplexingly Polarizing Post

Well, That Escalated Quickly: Behind the Scenes of a Perplexingly Polarizing Post

This is a post about irony.

Well, mostly. The last couple weeks have demonstrated that an alarming number of people are super confused when it comes to identifying the underlying theme of something (which makes the English teacher in me curl up in a ball and sob a little bit). So this time, I feel like maybe it’s important to be literal up front, to just come out and SAY what this post is about.

And since this is a post about irony, here’s your first ironic snacklet: my husband begged me not to write this follow-up. BEGGED. Continue reading

Jun 13 2016

Here I Sit, Waiting For My Editorial Call

Here I Sit, Waiting For My Editorial Call

Some of you already know this, but I wrote a book. I started it in 2011 while I had a full-time teaching job, so I worked on it during nights and weekends and then got pregnant with P and finished the first draft during the summer of 2013. Or maybe 2014, I don’t remember — it kind of took forever. And then I put it through four full revisions (and several mini ones), adding passages and deleting chapters and completely changing characters, and then I just ignored it for several months because there was NO POSSIBLE WAY I could ever attempt to publish a book like that while I was a teacher. It’s fiction, but several chapters take place in a high school. A lot of it has to do with the things in this article. There are some swear words.

In order to feel the least bit comfortable putting something like that into the universe, I figured I’d have to quit. Continue reading

May 15 2016

What Happens When Your Post Goes Semi-Viral

What Happens When Your Post Goes Semi-Viral

This is the post AFTER the post that sort of went viral.

The headline should actually contain a question mark and a hefty dose of even more uncertainty: “Um, I’m Not Totally Sure…But What DOES Happen When Your Post Goes Viral?” Like, I’m asking you. This isn’t a how-to. This is a legitimate question. What am I supposed to do?

I guess I should probably start with a hearty welcome to all the new people, since there are a LOT more of you here now. I’m so grateful that you not only stopped by, but also decided to stay! Of course, because I’m a worrier, I’m super concerned that I might be unprepared to keep you all entertained. While I attempt to get my bearings, here is a dancing monkey.
Continue reading

Mar 31 2016

This Is My Poem About Leaves

This Is My Poem About Leaves

Actually, this is the story of how Gwyneth Paltrow un-paralyzed me.

She doesn’t know this story. We are not friends. I mean, no doubt she’s perfectly pleasant — although people sure love to hate her for allegedly being an out-of-touch wackadoo — but I, for one, am grateful for her accidental guidance toward a ridiculous epiphany.

At the writers conference last month, I met with one particular professional who wanted to know if I had a “platform.”

“Well,” I said, “I have a blog.” I knew this was a semi-right answer because the conference offered dozens of sessions about how it is ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL to have an online presence.

“How many people read it?”

“Some, actually,” I replied. “Some people. I mean, it’s not crazy. But it’s definitely more than, you know, my parents.”

“Mm-hmm. And what’s it about?” Continue reading

Feb 17 2016

San Francisco Writers Conference: What to Expect

San Francisco Writers Conference: What to Expect

For two weekends in a row, I have not slept in my own bed. This is unusual for a homebody like me — who has handpicked my perfect pillow-top mattress and appreciates when all my stuff is in one ultra-organized location — but for the first half of February, I’ve been a traveling fool. We took our first-ever trip to Disneyland. And for the past four days, I was an attendee at the 2016 San Francisco Writers Conference.

I’d been wanting to go to a writing conference for years, but my teaching schedule got in the way, and then I got pregnant — twice — and then, and then, and then.

AND THEN, we moved to California, and even though I have a six-month-old, I told myself, No excuses. It’s serendipity. So I signed up. My mom flew in from Michigan to stay with P, and B came along with me. Before I went, I tried to do as much research as I could about what to expect; but to my surprise, there were very few thorough accounts of conferences past. I found a couple “What to Bring” lists, and one or two ultra-short blog posts from years ago, but nothing with the kind of specificity I wanted.

So, for any future attendees (and anyone else who might be curious about this kind of thing), I’m happy to share my experience. Continue reading