Nov 30 2017

5 Sneaky Ways to Practice Reading with Your Preschooler

5 Sneaky Ways to Practice Reading with Your Preschooler

For the last couple years, my husband and I have managed to semi-successfully employ an age-old parenting trick: spelling covert stuff in front of the kids.

“Did you remember to pack some S-N-A-C-K-S?”

“They need to decide which T-O-Y-S they want to give away before Christmas.”

“Don’t forget, P’s friend’s mom is P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T — we’d better bring something other than wine.”

But last night, when I turned to Al and said, “Just so you know, I ordered that S-C-O-O-T-E-R for Baby B today,” my 4-year-old glanced up and gave us a look.

“He already has a scooter,” she said. “Is it broken or something?”

Well. Game over.

If you would ALSO like to sabotage your secret spelling language so that your child will forever be able to involve themselves in every conversation whether you want them to or not, I’m happy to share some sneaky ways we accidentally practice reading. They’re “sneaky” because our preschooler thinks they’re just inherently fun, and that’s the key — turn it into a game, and they’ll want to play.

Note: These activities work best when the child has some base knowledge of letter recognition (both sight and sound). Continue reading

Dec 20 2016

On Second Thought, We Are Totally NOT Ready for a Big Kid Bed

On Second Thought, We Are Totally NOT Ready for a Big Kid Bed

Until just a couple months ago, our daughter was still in a crib.

Oh…um, is there a question in the back? Yes, you, with the impeccably pulled-together outfit.

How OLD is she, you ask?

*looks away, mumbles into back of hand* She’s thrmmhmm.

What? Louder? You can’t hear me?

She’s…she’s three and a half.

She’s almost four, okay?! She was THREE AND A HALF YEARS OLD AND STILL IN A CRIB. There you go.

I know. It’s a miracle we’re still allowed to keep her. Please don’t turn us in. Continue reading

Oct 23 2016

A Wish for a Quiet Life

A Wish for a Quiet Life

In our house, something is always, always making noise.

Sometimes it’s the drone of whichever football game is forever playing in the background (until I beg my husband to please, just for one second, mute that thing). Sometimes it’s the beeping and blooping of those mechanical toys we totally regret buying, so incessant that we almost don’t hear them until they start playing in our dreams. Sometimes it’s the hysterical bark of our dog, who is absolutely beside herself with joy because the UPS guy just rang the doorbell and that must mean COMPANY, Y’ALL!

And after that, the noise generally includes some combination of sobbing mixed with irrational demands, because two children have just been ripped out of a (rare) sound sleep and they are super unhappy about it. #ThanksBeaker.

In our house, you will hear the baby pounding his fork against the high chair tray because he wants his honeydew NOW but doesn’t know how to ask yet. You will hear plates and sippy cups clatter to the floor the second he decides he is finished — and no one will clean it up for several minutes, because on the other side of the kitchen, his sister is yelling, “Mommy, may I have some milk please? Mommy, may I have some milk please? MOMMY! MAY I HAVE SOME MILK PLEASE?!” seventy-five times in a row without taking a breath, and someone must sprint to the fridge to reward her for actually using the word please (and also to pour the milk so that the noise might FINALLY stop). Continue reading

Jul 13 2016

If “The Why Stage” Causes an Actual Nervous Breakdown, Please Send Help

If “The Why Stage” Causes an Actual Nervous Breakdown, Please Send Help

Well, I thought we missed it.

I thought The Why Stage would happen right around two-ish, when kids are SUPPOSED to drive you crazy, when language is shiny and new and words that are monosyllabic get preferential treatment. After P turned three a few months ago and it still hadn’t happened, I kicked back in my imaginary chair with an imaginary, umbrella-d Mai Tai and laughed and pointed at alllll the imaginary people.

WE MISSED IT, SUCKERS! You had to answer all those unanswerable questions, and look at me over here sipping my beverage! FLAWLESS. VICTORY.

And then along came almost-three-and-a-half. She woke up one morning, asked “Why?” when I told her to put on her pants, and it hasn’t stopped since.
Continue reading