For better or worse, I’m a child of the nineties, and sometimes a really good Clueless reference is all you need.

THIS HOUSE IS A MONET.

It looks good from afar, but up close, it’s an absolute disaster. The disastrous-ness has essentially reached comedic proportions, so I guess I could just try to laugh. Maniacally. As I run screaming from the driveway in my bare feet and hurl a filthy white flag into the night.

I almost don’t even know where to start. Or where to continue, I guess, since I’ve already touched on a few issues. Maybe something chronological?

The kitchen.
Okay, so we haven’t had a microwave since we’ve been here. Like, ever, not even for one second. I didn’t bring this up at first because having a microwave is definitely not crucial to survival, and plus I never imagined it would become such a longstanding situation. But we’ve been in the house for three weeks now, and there is still no microwave. Or oven, as it happens, since they go together in this particular unit. Which maybe wouldn’t be such a huge deal, but we STILL can’t keep bread or grains in the house right now because of the moths (more on that later). So here’s where this has become a problem worth mentioning: Continue reading →